Last Friday was osmet's birthday..nothing special..we went to work as normal and infact he didn't make it early at home that day..so dinner pun ala-ala biasa aje..well at least I manage to be the first one to wish him "Happy Birthday!" hehe..kalo tak harus lagi sedey cik abg sorang tu.
And today is my one and only little girl (setakat ni la..heheh) birthday..yang kelapan. Dah besar budak sorang ni..kakak has been very2 co-operative few weeks back..sejak menjak bertukar transit ke sekolah Abg..happy with that..and I know I have made the right decision then. Sekali cakap terus saje ikut and buat..but then I didn't know why last weekend she's a bit unco-operative..maybe partly because osmet and I buat acuh tak acuh je bila dia tanya pasal goody bag die..determine sungguh nak bagi goody bag kat orang..well, we did have some plans..a last minutes one cause weekend je full..weekdays is a No-No. Thank you Allah, for my very2 helpful siblings and Tok Mama yang terinvolve jugak last minutes, tau tau dah siap beli dah siap pack sume dah..Fuhh boleh la rasa nak rehat skit..ye la as I mentioned in my last post, our weekends in Sep are full with activities. Dah rasa nak pancit dah ni..a last one to go next weekend. Teringat je dah penat..ok ok..it's all in your mindset..just do it..don't even think about it okey? <self motivation sat sebab yesterday I broke down..eheheh>
By the way, birthdays has given me a different kind of meaning lately..I know for kids it's among the bestest days in their life..they want to celebrate, they want to be happy..but lately deep down in my heart birthdays is more that just a celebration..been asking myself is that the correct way to remember the day you were given birth? Am afraid if I teach my kids the wrong way about birthdays..I know akan ada orang kata..they are just kids..they deserve to be happy and enjoy thier birth day..dah la dieorg ni anak2 syurga, yang tak ada dosa..tapi entah la..
Been telling myself silently bagi goody bag is good ape..it's sort of beri hadiah ape kan? Somehow don't know why I feel a bit uneasy about it..well, my problem I guess..I been thinking so much..takut sangat tak pasang niat yang betul..pagi tadi tanya Kakak..apa niat bagi goody bag kat orang? Nak menunjuk2 ke atau nak buat org happy? She didn't answer, but I hope she chose the later answer..
Sebelum terus melalut-lalut and out of topic sebenar, better conclude my entry today..I just wanna again wish my two very2 important person in my life..Osmet and Kakak Alysa a very happy birthday..I do wish both of you find a better meaning in your birthdays..
To osmet, please know that you are always in my prayers..lets continue to become a better person..together..and oh..of course I love you..
To kakak, you might not understand what I'm trying to convey to you..but I just need to jot down it here, in case in future you are big enough to understand..Kakak..ingat umur akan makin bertambah dari tahun ke tahun, takkan pernah berkurang..Maksudnya, masa yang kita tinggalkan, lebih banyak daripada apa yang akan kita hadapi..teringat satu lirik lagu nasyid.."Pangkalnya jauh, hujungnya belum tiba.." Tanyalah pada diri sendiri, apa kakak nak daripada hidup ni..apa tujuan hidup kita, dari mana kita datang dan ke mana kita hendak tuju..Jawapannya Mama dah selalu bagitau kakak..Kalau jawapan kakak sama dengan Mama, insya-Allah akan selamat dunia akhirat..Ingat ni sampai bila-bila..and ingat I love you always tho you might not see or feel it..